Conclusion of a Letter to the Rev. Mr. C—[ed.]
Conclusion of a Letter to the Rev. Mr. C—[ed.][ed.] Philip Chamberlain, a canon of St. Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin, during Swift's deanery.
1 'Tis Time to conclude; for I make it a Rule,
2 To leave off all Writing, when Con. comes from School.
3 He dislikes what I've written, and says, I had better
4 To send what he calls a poetical Letter.
5 To this I reply'd, You are out of your Wits;
6 A Letter in Verse would put him in Fits:
7 He thinks it a Crime in a Woman to read —
8 Then, what would he say, should your Counsel succeed?
9 I pity poor Barber, his Wife's so romantick:
10 A Letter in Rhyme! — Why, the Woman is frantick!
11 This Reading the Poets has quite turn'd her Head!
12 On my Life, she should have a dark Room, and Straw Bed.
13 I often heard say, that St. Patrick took care,
14 No poisonous Creature should live in this Air:[Page 59]
15 He only regarded the Body, I find;
16 But Plato consider'd who poison'd the Mind.
17 Would they'd follow his Precepts, who sit at the Helm,
18 And drive Poetasters from out of the Realm!
19 Her Husband has surely a terrible Life;
20 There's nothing I dread, like a verse-writing Wife:
21 Defend me, ye Powers, from that fatal Curse;
22 Which must heighten the Plagues of for better for worse!
23 May I have a Wife, that will dust her own Floor;
24 And not the fine Minx, recommended by*
* See Sir Thomas More's Advice to his Son.More.
25 (That he was a Dotard, is granted, I hope,
26 Who dy'd for asserting the Rights of the Pope. )
27 If ever I marry, I'll chuse me a Spouse,
28 That shall serve and obey, as she's bound by her Vows;
29 That shall, when I'm dressing, attend like a Valet;
30 Then go to the Kitchen, and study my Palate.[Page 60]
31 She has Wisdom enough, that keeps out of the Dirt,
32 And can make a good Pudding, and cut out a Shirt.
33 What Good's in a Dame, that will pore on a Book?
34 No! — Give me the Wife, that shall save me a Cook.
35 Thus far I had written — Then turn'd to my Son,
36 To give him Advice, ere my Letter was done.
37 My Son, should you marry, look out for a Wife,
38 That's fitted to lighten the Labours of Life.
39 Be sure, wed a Woman you thoroughly know,
40 And shun, above all Things, a housewifely Shrew;
41 That would fly to your Study, with Fire in her Looks,
42 And ask what you got by your poring on Books;
43 Think Dressing of Dinner the Height of all Science,
44 And to Peace, and good Humour bid open Defiance.
45 Avoid the fine Lady, whose Beauty's her Care;
46 Who sets a high Price on her Shape, and her Air;
47 Who in Dress, and in Visits, employs the whole Day;
48 And longs for the Ev'ning, to sit down to play.[Page 61]
49 Chuse a Woman of Wisdom, as well as good Breeding,
50 With a Turn, at least no Aversion, to Reading:
51 In the Care of her Person, exact and refin'd;
52 Yet still, let her principal Care be her Mind:
53 Who can, when her Family Cares give her Leisure,
54 Without the dear Cards, pass an Ev'ning with Pleasure;
55 In forming her Children to Virtue and Knowledge,
56 Nor trust, for that Care, to a School, or a College:
57 By Learning made humble, not thence taking Airs,
58 To despise, or neglect, her domestick Affairs:
59 Nor think her less fitted for doing her Duty,
60 By knowing its Reasons, its Use, and its Beauty.
61 When you gain her Affection, take care to preserve it,
62 Lest others persuade her, you do not deserve it.
63 Still study to heighten the Joys of her Life;
64 Nor treat her the worse, for her being your Wife.
65 If in Judgment she errs, set her right, without Pride:
66 'Tis the Province of insolent Fools, to deride.[Page 62]
67 A Husband's first praise, is a Friend and Protector:
68 Then change not these Titles, for Tyrant and Hector.
69 Let your Person be neat, unaffectedly clean,
70 Tho' alone with your Wife the whole Day you remain.
71 Chuse Books, for her Study, to fashion her Mind,
72 To emulate those who excell'd of her Kind.
73 Be Religion the principal Care of your Life,
74 As you hope to be blest in your Children and Wife:
75 So you, in your Marriage, shall gain its true End;
76 And find, in your Wife, a Companion and Friend.
About this text
Title (in Source Edition): Conclusion of a Letter to the Rev. Mr. C—.
Author: Mary Barber
Themes: advice; moral precepts; poetry; literature; writing; marriage
References: DMI 11370
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The text has been typographically modernized, but without any silent modernization of spelling, capitalization, or punctuation. The source of the text is given and all editorial interventions have been recorded in textual notes. Based on the electronic text originally produced by the ECCO-TCP project, this ECPA text has been edited to conform to the recommendations found in Level 5 of the Best Practices for TEI in Libraries version 3.0.
Other works by Mary Barber
- Apollo's Edict. ()
- An Apology for my Son to his Master, for not bringing an Exercise on the Coronation Day. ()
- An Apology for the Clergy, who were present when the Minister of the Parish read Prayers and preach'd twice in one Day, at Tunbridge-Wells. Written at the Request of a Layman. ()
- An Apology to Dr. Clayton, Bishop of Killala, and his Lady, who had promis'd to dine with the Author. ()
- An Apology to the Earl of Orrery, Dr. Swift, and some others of my Friends, for falling into Tears before them, on my leaving Ireland. ()
- An Apology written for my Son to his Master, who had commanded him to write Verses on the Death of the late Lord —. ()
- An Apology written for my Son to the Reverend Mr. Sampson, who had invited some Friends to celebrate Lord Carteret's Birth-Day, at Mount-Carteret near Dublin; and desir'd my Son to write on that Occasion. ()
- By a Person of Quality. ()
- The Earl's Answer, written extempore. ()
- An Epigram on the Battle of the Books. ()
- An Epigram on the same Occasion. ()
- An EPIGRAM. ()
- Epilogue to a Comedy acted at Bath, where the Dutchess of Ormond was present. ()
- An Epitaph on the late Lord Mount-Cashel. ()
- An Hymn to Sleep. Written when the Author was sick. ()
- An Invitation to Edward Walpole, Esq; upon hearing he was landed in Dublin. ()
- Jupiter and Fortune. A Fable. ()
- A Letter for my Son to one of his School-fellows, Son to Henry Rose, Esq; ()
- A Letter to a Friend, on Occasion of some Libels written against him. ()
- A Letter written for my Daughter to a Lady, who had presented her with a Cap. ()
- A Letter written for my Son to a young Gentleman, who was sent to be educated at the Jesuits College in Flanders. ()
- A Letter written from London to Mrs. Strangeways Horner, whom the Author had left the Day before at Tunbridge-Wells. Oct. 1730. ()
- News from St. James's. ()
- The Oak and its Branches. A Fable. Occasion'd by seeing a dead Oak beautifully encompass'd with Ivy. ()
- Occasion'd by reading the Memoirs of Anne of Austria, written by Madam de Motteville. Inscrib'd to the Right Honourable the Countess of Hertford. ()
- Occasion'd by seeing some Verses written by Mrs. Constantia Grierson, upon the Death of her Son. ()
- Occasion'd by seeing the Honourable — treat a Person of Merit with Insolence, who came to make a Request to her. ()
- On imagining a Friend had treated the Author with Indifference. ()
- On leaving Bath. ()
- On seeing an Officer's Widow distracted who had been driven to Despair, by a long and fruitless Sollicitation for the Arrears of her Pension. ()
- On seeing the Captives, lately redeem'd from Barbary by His Majesty. ()
- On sending my Son, as a Present, to Dr. Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's, on his Birth-Day. ()
- On the Dutchess of Newcastle's Picture. ()
- On the Earl of Oxford and Mortimer's giving his Daughter in Marriage in Oxford-Chapel. ()
- The Peacock. A Fable. ()
- The Prodigy. A Letter to a Friend in the Country. ()
- The RECANTATION: To the same Lady. ()
- Reply to the foregoing Verses. ()
- The RESOLUTION. ()
- Sent as from a School-fellow to my Son Anno 1727. ()
- SINCERITY. A Poem. Occasion'd by a Friend's resenting some Advice I gave. ()
- SONG. (); Stella and Flavia. ()
- Spoken extempore, to the Right Honourable the Lady Barbara North, on her presenting the Author with a white Ribband at Tunbridge-Wells. ()
- To a Gentleman, who had abus'd Waller. ()
- To a Gentleman, who shew'd a fine Poem as his own. ()
- To a Gentleman, who took a very grave Friend of his, to visit one of quite a different Turn. ()
- To a Lady at Bath. ()
- To a Lady in the Spleen, whom the Author was desir'd to amuse. ()
- To a Lady who was libell'd. ()
- To a Lady, who commanded me to send her an Account in Verse, how I succeeded in my Subscription. ()
- To a Lady, who invited the Author into the Country. ()
- To a Lady, who valu'd herself on speaking her Mind in a blunt Manner, which she call'd being sincere. ()
- To Alexander Pope, Esq; Intreating him to write Verses to the Memory of Thomas, late Earl of Thanet. ()
- To Dr. Mead, on his Cape Wine. ()
- To Dr. Richard Helsham. Upon my Recovery from a dangerous Fit of Sickness. ()
- To her Grace the Dutchess of Manchester, and Lady Diana Spencer, now Dutchess of Bedford. The humble Petition of little Jemmy Pen, at Tunbridge-Wells. ()
- To her Grace the Dutchess of Portland, with the foregoing Lines. ()
- To his Excellency the Lord Carteret. Occasion'd by seeing a Poem, intitled, The Birth of Manly Virtue. ()
- To his Grace the Duke of Buckingham and Normanby, at the Camp before Philipsburgh. ()
- To his Grace the Duke of Chandos. ()
- To Lady H—r, who ask'd, Had the Author done writing Verses? ()
- To Mrs. Anne Donnellan, with the fourth Essay on MAN. ()
- To Mrs. Armine Cartwright, at Bath. ()
- To Mrs. CÆsar, at the Speaker's Lodgings at Bath. ()
- To Mrs. Frances-Arabella Kelly. ()
- To Mrs. Mary CÆsar, upon seeing her just after the Marriage of her Friend, the Lady Margaret Harley. ()
- To Mrs. Newans, encouraging her to draw Lady Killmorey's Picture. ()
- To Mrs. Putland. ()
- To Mrs. Strangeways Horner, with a Letter from my Son; wherein he desires me to accept his first Prize of Learning, conferr'd on him by the University of Dublin. ()
- To Mrs. S—. Written in my Sickness. ()
- To Mrs. — ()
- To Novella, on her saying deridingly, that a Lady of great Merit, and fine Address, was bred in the Old Way. An EPIGRAM. ()
- To Robert Barber Esq; Deputy to the Treasurer's Remembrancer in the Court of Exchequer, on his attending, whilst his Son repeated Gay's Fable of the Hare and Many Friends. ()
- To Sophronia. ()
- To the Honble. Miss Carteret, now Countess of Dysert. ()
- To the Honourable Mrs. Percival. ()
- To the Honourable Mrs. Spencer, on her removing from Windsor to Rookly in Hampshire. ()
- To the Reverend Dr. L—. Occasion'd by his Sermon for the Support of the Charity-Children at Tunbridge-Wells, where the Collection was small. ()
- To the Right Hon. the Earl of Orrery, on his Promise to sup with the Author. ()
- To the Right Honble. the Lady Dowager Torrington, with some Verses her Ladyship commanded me to send her. ()
- To the Right Honourable John Barber, Esq; Lord Mayor of London, on committing one of my Sons to his Care. ()
- To the Right Honourable John Earl of Orrery, at Bath, after the Death of the late Earl. ()
- To the Right Honourable the Earl of Thomond, at Bath; who charg'd the Author with making an Irish Bull. ()
- To the Right Honourable the Lady Elizabeth Brownlow, upon desiring me to send her some of my Poems. ()
- To the Right Honourable the Lady Elizabeth Germain, upon seeing her do a generous Action. Written as from the Person reliev'd. ()
- To the Right Honourable the Lady Kilmorey, with a Letter, which was written by the late Lady Roydon, of the Kingdom of Ireland, just before her Death. ()
- To the Right Honourable the Lady Sarah Cowper. Written when the Author was sick at Tunbridge-Wells. ()
- To the Rt. Hon. Charlotte Lady Conway, on her resolving to leave Bath. ()
- A True TALE. ()
- An unanswerable Apology for the Rich. ()
- Upon seeing a Raffle for Addison's Works unfill'd. ()
- Verses occasion'd by the Sickness of Mrs. Anne Donnellan. ()
- Verses sent to a Lady, who took Delight in ridiculing a Person of very weak Under-standing, whom she reliev'd from Want. ()
- The Widow Gordon's Petition To the Right Hon. the Lady Carteret. ()
- Written at Bath to a young Lady, who had just before given me a short Answer. ()
- Written at Camberwell, near London, in the Study of Mr. Wainwright, now Baron of the Exchequer in Ireland, where the Author accidentally din'd alone. ()
- Written at Dr. Mead's House in Ormond-Street, to Mrs. Mead. ()
- Written at Tunbridge-Wells, where the Author had, the Year before, been honour'd with the Acquaintance of Mrs. Strangeways Horner, who, after, went abroad on account of her Health. ()
- Written at Tunbridge-Wells. To the Right Honourable the Lady Barbara North, occasion'd by some of the Company's saying they would go to Faint-Fair, and act a Play. ()
- Written for a Gentlewoman in Distress. To her Grace Adelida, Dutchess of Shrewsbury. ()
- Written for my Son in his Sickness, to one of his School fellows. ()
- Written for my Son to his Master, on the Anniversary of the Battle of the Boyne. ()
- Written for my Son, and spoken by him at his first putting on Breeches. ()
- Written for my Son, and spoken by him at School to some of the Fellows of the College of Dublin, at a public Examination for Victors. ()
- Written for my Son, and spoken by him in School, upon his Master's first bringing in a Rod. ()
- Written for my Son, and spoken by him, at a public Examination for Victors. ()
- Written for my Son, in a Bible which was presented to him. ()
- Written for my Son, to Mr. Barry; occasion'd by the foregoing Verses. ()
- Written for my Son, to some of the Fellows of the College, who took care of the School in his Master's Absence. ()
- Written for my Son, upon Lady Santry's coming to School, to see her Son, and getting the Scholars a Play-Day. ()
- Written from Dublin, to a Lady in the Country. ()
- Written in the Conclusion of a Letter to Mr. Tickel, intreating him to recommend the Widow Gordon's Petition. ()
- Written upon the Rocks at Tunbridge, on seeing the Names of several Persons written there. ()