THE
LADLE
.
The
Scepticks
think
,
'twas
long
ago
,
Since
Gods
came
down
Incognito
,
To
see
Who
were
Their
Friends
or
Foes
,
And
how
our
Actions
fell
or
rose
:
That
since
They
gave
Things
their
Beginning
;
And
set
this
Whirligig
a
Spinning
;
Supine
They
in
their
Heav'n
remain
,
Exempt
from
Passion
,
and
from
Pain
:
And
frankly
leave
us
Human
Elves
,
To
cut
and
shuffle
for
our
selves
:
To
stand
or
walk
,
to
rise
or
tumble
,
As
Matter
,
and
as
Motion
jumble
.
The
Poets
now
,
and
Painters
hold
This
Thesis
both
absurd
and
bold
:
And
your
good-natur'd
Gods
,
They
say
,
Descend
some
twice
or
thrice
a-day
:
Else
all
these
Things
We
toil
so
hard
in
,
Would
not
avail
one
single
Farthing
:
For
when
the
Hero
We
rehearse
,
To
grace
His
Actions
,
and
Our
Verse
;
'Tis
not
by
dint
of
Human
Thought
,
That
to
his
Latium
He
is
brought
:
Iris
descends
by
Fate's
Commands
,
To
guide
his
Steps
thro'
Foreign
Lands
:
And
Amphitrite
clears
his
Way
From
Rocks
and
Quick-sands
in
the
Sea
.
And
if
You
see
Him
in
a
Sketch
;
(
Tho'
drawn
by
Paulo
or
Carache
)
He
shows
not
half
his
Force
and
Strength
,
Strutting
in
Armour
,
and
at
Length
:
That
He
may
make
his
proper
Figure
,
The
Piece
must
yet
be
four
Yards
bigger
:
The
Nymphs
conduct
Him
to
the
Field
:
One
holds
his
Sword
,
and
One
his
Shield
:
Mars
standing
by
asserts
his
Quarrel
:
And
Fame
flies
after
with
a
Lawrel
.
These
Points
,
I
say
,
of
Speculation
(
As
'twere
to
save
or
sink
the
Nation
)
Men
idly
learned
will
dispute
,
Assert
,
object
,
confirm
,
refute
:
Each
mighty
angry
,
mighty
right
,
With
equal
Arms
sustains
the
Fight
;
'Till
now
no
Umpire
can
agree
'em
:
So
both
draw
off
,
and
sing
Te
Deum
.
Is
it
in
Equilibrio
,
If
Deities
descend
or
no
?
Then
let
th'Affirmative
prevail
,
As
requisite
to
form
my
Tale
:
For
by
all
Parties
'tis
confest
,
That
those
Opinions
are
the
best
,
Which
in
their
Nature
most
conduce
To
present
Ends
,
and
private
Use
.
Two
Gods
came
therefore
from
above
,
One
Mercury
,
the
t'other
Jove
:
The
Humour
was
(
it
seems
)
to
know
,
If
all
the
Favours
They
bestow
,
Could
from
our
own
Perverseness
ease
Us
;
And
if
our
Wish
injoy'd
would
please
Us
.
Discoursing
largely
on
this
Theme
,
O'er
Hills
and
Dales
Their
Godships
came
;
'Till
well
nigh
tir'd
at
almost
Night
,
They
thought
it
proper
to
alight
.
Note
here
,
that
it
as
true
as
odd
is
,
That
in
Disguise
a
God
or
Goddess
Exerts
no
supernat'ral
Powers
;
But
acts
on
Maxims
much
like
Ours
.
They
spy'd
at
last
a
Country
Farm
,
Where
all
was
snug
,
and
clean
,
and
warm
;
For
Woods
before
,
and
Hills
behind
Secur'd
it
both
from
Rain
and
Wind
:
Large
Oxen
in
the
Fields
were
lowing
:
Good
Grain
was
sow'd
:
good
Fruit
was
growing
:
Of
last
Year's
Corn
in
Barns
great
Store
;
Fat
Turkeys
gobbling
at
the
Door
:
And
Wealth
(
in
short
)
with
Peace
consented
,
That
People
here
should
live
contented
:
But
did
They
in
Effect
do
so
?
Have
Patience
,
Friend
;
and
Thou
shalt
know
.
The
honest
Farmer
and
his
Wife
,
To
Years
declin'd
from
Prime
of
Life
,
Had
struggl'd
with
the
Marriage
Noose
;
As
almost
ev'ry
Couple
does
:
Sometimes
,
My
Plague
!
sometimes
,
My
Darling
!
Kissing
to
Day
,
to
Morrow
snarling
;
Jointly
submitting
to
endure
That
Evil
,
which
admits
no
Cure
.
Our
Gods
the
outward
Gate
unbarr'd
:
Our
Farmer
met
'em
in
the
Yard
;
Thought
They
were
Folks
that
lost
their
Way
;
And
ask'd
them
civily
to
stay
:
Told
'em
,
for
Supper
,
or
for
Bed
They
might
go
on
,
and
be
worse
sped
.
—
So
said
,
so
done
:
the
Gods
consent
:
All
three
into
the
Parlour
went
:
They
complement
:
They
sit
:
They
chat
;
Fight
o'er
the
Wars
;
reform
the
State
:
A
thousand
knotty
Points
They
clear
;
Till
Supper
and
my
Wife
appear
.
Jove
made
his
Leg
,
and
kiss'd
the
Dame
:
Obsequious
Hermes
did
the
same
.
Jove
kiss'd
the
Farmer's
Wife
,
You
say
.
He
did
—
but
in
an
honest
Way
:
Oh
!
not
with
half
that
Warmth
and
Life
,
With
which
He
kiss'd
Amphitryon's
Wife
.
—
Well
then
,
Things
handsomly
were
serv'd
:
My
Mistress
for
the
Strangers
carv'd
.
How
strong
the
Beer
,
how
good
the
Meat
,
How
loud
They
laught
,
how
much
They
eat
,
In
Epic
sumptuous
would
appear
;
Yet
shall
be
pass'd
in
Silence
here
:
For
I
should
grieve
to
have
it
said
,
That
by
a
fine
Description
led
,
I
made
my
Episode
too
long
,
Or
tir'd
my
Friend
,
to
grace
my
Song
.
The
Grace-Cup
serv'd
,
the
Cloth
away
,
Jove
thought
it
time
to
show
his
Play
:
Landlord
and
Landlady
,
He
cry'd
,
Folly
and
Jesting
laid
aside
,
That
Ye
thus
hospitably
live
,
And
Strangers
with
good
Chear
receive
,
Is
mighty
grateful
to
your
Betters
,
And
makes
ev'n
Gods
themselves
your
Debtors
.
To
give
this
Thesis
plainer
Proof
,
You
have
to
Night
beneath
your
Roof
A
Pair
of
Gods
:
(
nay
never
wonder
)
This
Youth
can
Fly
,
and
I
can
Thunder
.
I'm
Jupiter
,
and
He
Mercurius
,
My
Page
,
my
Son
indeed
,
but
spurious
.
Form
then
Three
Wishes
,
You
and
Madam
:
And
sure
,
as
You
already
had
'em
,
The
Things
desir'd
in
half
an
Hour
Shall
all
be
here
,
and
in
your
Pow'r
.
Thank
Ye
,
great
Gods
,
the
Woman
says
:
Oh
!
may
your
Altars
ever
blaze
.
A
Ladle
for
our
Silver
Dish
Is
what
I
want
,
is
what
I
Wish
.
—
A
Ladle
!
cries
the
Man
,
a
Ladle
!
'Odzooks
,
Corisca
,
You
have
pray'd
ill
:
What
should
be
Great
,
You
turn
to
Farce
:
I
Wish
the
Ladle
in
your
A—
.
With
equal
Grief
and
Shame
my
Muse
The
Sequel
of
the
Tale
pursues
:
The
Ladle
fell
into
the
Room
,
And
stuck
in
old
Corisca's
Bum
.
Our
Couple
weep
Two
Wishes
past
,
And
kindly
join
to
form
the
last
,
To
ease
the
Woman's
aukward
Pain
,
And
get
the
Ladle
out
again
.
MORAL
.
This
Commoner
has
Worth
and
Parts
,
Is
prais'd
for
Arms
,
or
lov'd
for
Arts
:
His
Head
achs
for
a
Coronet
:
And
Who
is
Bless'd
that
is
not
Great
?
Some
Sense
,
and
more
Estate
,
kind
Heav'n
To
this
well-lotted
Peer
has
giv'n
:
What
then
?
He
must
have
Rule
and
Sway
:
And
all
is
wrong
,
'till
He's
in
Play
.
The
Miser
must
make
up
his
Plumb
,
And
dares
not
touch
the
hoarded
Sum
:
The
sickly
Dotard
wants
a
Wife
,
To
draw
off
his
last
Dregs
of
Life
.
Against
our
Peace
We
arm
our
Will
:
Amidst
our
Plenty
,
Something
still
For
Horses
,
Houses
,
Pictures
,
Planting
,
To
Thee
,
to
Me
,
to
Him
is
wanting
.
That
cruel
Something
unpossess'd
Corrodes
,
and
levens
all
the
rest
.
That
Something
,
if
We
could
obtain
,
Would
soon
create
a
future
Pain
:
And
to
the
Coffin
,
from
the
Cradle
,
'Tis
all
a
Wish
,
and
all
a
Ladle
.