itt, but a stormy sea? If I cast my eyes backward the billowes are still heaving, and the angry waves are tossing their heads; if I looke forward the prospect doth presente to my imagination nothing new, itt is still a stormy sea, and the billowes and the waves, and the breakers surround the poore mariner, who if by chance he doth escape, comes wounded and torne, and allmost spent, to shore. But

"Many, O Lord, are thy wonderfull workes! which thou hast don, and thy thoughts which are to me ward, they cannot be reckoned upp in order•nto thee. "Ps. xl. 5.

"Come therefore and heare, all yee that feare God, and I will declare what he hath don for my Soul."Ps. lxvi. 16.

1. IN PERSONALL DELIVERANCES

I may say, with the Apostle, glorying, as he did, of the things which concern mine infirmityes. I have been

IN PRISONS FREQUENT,

Seissed upon by the army, as I was going to discharge my duty in the House of Commons, and, contrary to priviledg of Parliament, made a prisoner in the Queen's court; from thence carried ignominiously to a place under the Exchequer called Hell, and the next day to the King's Head in the Strand; after, singled out (as a sheep to the slaughter) and removed to St. James's: thence sent to Windsor Castle, and remanded to St. James's againe; lastly tossed, like a ball into a strange country, to Denbigh Castle in North Wales, remote from, my relations and interests. — After above three yeares imprisonment, and thus being changed as itt were from vessel to vessel, itt pleased the Lord to turne my captivity, and to restore me to the comforts of my poore family againe; and here let me call to mind how much reason I had to be thankfull to him, who chasteneth those whom he loveth, for the great consolation experienced in the dear partner of my captivity. She came to me disguised in mean apparell,[Page 105] when I had groaned in my bonds seven months, thinking itt the duty of a wife, to riske all things for the satisfaction of her husband. Much difficulty had she in comming, and was frequent on the brink of being discovered; but att length over mountains and unknown roads, sometimes with a guide, and sometimes with none, she arrived att my prison: and she seemed when she discovered herself to me, to be like the Angell who appeared unto Peter in like circumstances: she did not indeed bid my prison gates fly open, but by her sweet converse and behaviour, she made those things seem light, which were before heavy, and scarce to be borne. — I must ever acknowledg itt also a very great mercy, that being so long subject to so great a malice, armed with so great a power, I was not given as a prey to their teeth; and that after all the indeavours that were used to finde out matter of charge against me, I came off with an entire innocency, not only uncondemned, but unaccused.

The 5th of August, 1659, I was seized a prisoner by a party of horse in Kent, and the 22d following I was committed to the Tower, only upon jealousy; and, because I refused to inform the councell further than in what singly concerned my self, and because I denyed to give any ingagement. The[Page 106] 31st of October following, the Lord delivered me by my habeas corpus in an open cleare way, notwithstanding all opposition. Blessed be his holy name who hath been my constant keeper, and hath not only delivered me out of the mouth of the lion (as he did Paul) but preserved me in itt. And my trust is, the Lord shall deliver me from every evill worke, and will preserve me unto his heavenly Kingdome, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

2. IN DEATHS OFT;

1. By suddain accidents.

In my infancy, when I lay in my cradle, I escaped a great danger, upon the casuall discharge of a peece, the shott whereof missed me very narrowly.

At Winchester Castle, I ran a great hassard of being buried under the ruines of an ould outwall, which I had been viewing, and considering how to have it taken down, and I was no sooner stept into the house (not above an easy stone's cast off) but itt fell, and covered all the place where I had been, and diverse yards beyond itt. My deare wife (the Lady Ann) had a deliverance of the very same kinde there likewise; having been to look att an ould staircase which was repairing, she was no sooner gon, but the place where she stood fell, and[Page 107] in humane reason, she could not but have perished in the ruines. —

Att Cropredy in Oxfordshire, I escaped a great danger of the like nature, when being with my officers att a councell of warr, the floore of the roome (where I was) sunke under me, and I lay overwhelmed with a great deal of lumber that fell upon me, and yet, blessed be God, I had no hurt att all. And att this place I did likewise escape a snare. After the battell, a message was sent to me by the King; when I had given my answer that I could not treat with his Majesty but by command of Parliament, I turned shortly round; when the trumpet said he had a private mesage for me, and praied me to hear him: I replyed there need be no privacy, not caring to give an handle to mine Enemies: but some that were neare me did persuade me to heare the man, and went out. He then presently pulled forth a letter, which to my great shame and surprise came from the Lady ******; in itt she besought me to betray my cause; and this she did so wittily and kinde, that I had much ado to be angry. Before this lady's marriage I had been her suitor, and did dearly love her, and she remembered me of this, and of some soft passages. Whether or not she was putt on this by some greater than herself, I never knew; but I returned for answer, that as I had[Page 108] never been traitor to my love, so would I not to my cause, which I should be, if I did as she would advise, and after this I heard no more. —

2. BY GREAT SICKNESSES. —

I had a great deliverance from the plague att my house in Aldersgate-street, a chambermaid of my wifes being struck with itt (who died within a day or two after att the pesthouse, whither she was removed) my wife being then great with child (of my son Thomas) had her by the hand in her sickness, and was neare her, when she was in sweats, yet neither she nor any of my family, were infected.

Att Calais I escaped the plague, when Sir Philip Stapleton died of itt, and I was with him and had him by the hand, not above five or six howers before he departed.

3. BY HASSARDS IN WARR.

In the warrs between the Venetians, and the Archduke Ferdinand (afterwards Emperour) att the leaguer before Rubia, I escaped severall very neere shott; one grazing att my foot, another lighting between Sir John Vere and me, as we sate close together by the battery; and yet touched neither[Page 109] of us, besides diverse others, both great and small shott that indangered me.

In the warr between the Emperour Ferdinand, and the King of Bohemia, I escaped miraculously out of the hands of the Cossacks, when in a skirmish my horse was killed under me, and in the clearing of myself from him, I fell with my foot hanging in the stirrup, I was incompassed by them, and in making my way through them to my own men, had severall shott made att me, att a close distance, yet itt pleased the Lord, none wounded; only one grazed lightly on the topp of my head, and I came off with safety.

Att the battell of Edghill, I had my horse shott under me, but I was preserved from any hurt.

Att the taking of Farnham Castle, I escaped a very neare shott, from one of mine own men, as he followed me in a narrow passage, after I was entred.

In my retreat from Chepstow, when Prince Maurice had lined all the passages between that and Gloucester, with a very considerable army, to intercept me; I had no way left, but to transport my foote and traine of Artillery cross the Severn to Barkley Castle (from whence they were secured) and with[Page 110] my horse and dragoones to beat thro' his quarters; upon the march that night thorough the Forrest of Dean; itt happened thorough the sleepiness of an officer, that the maine body was separated a great distance from the fore troop (with which I marched) so that I was faine to make an halt for above halfe an hower, within litle more than a mile of the princes head quarter, in broad day light, the alarme taken, and not one hundred and twenty horse with me. Nevertheless itt pleased God in his infinit mercy to direct the rest of my troopes to me, and under the conduct of his providence, I made a safe and an honorable retreat to Gloucester, in despight of the enemy who charged me in the reare, but with more loss to him, than to me.

Att Landsdown, when I made the retreat, I escaped a shower of shott.

At the Devises, when I beat the Lord Marquess Harford, Prince Maurice, and the Lord Hopton, with their remaining forces into the town, the second night after I sat down before itt, having been out to visit the gardes, and returning to a farmhouse (at the foot of Roundway Down) where I had given order to my cooke, that my supper should be ready against I came in, and finding my meat but newly laid to the fire; in a suddain impatience I resolved[Page 111] not to supp att all, and so tooke horse again, and rode upp to the topp, where the body of my horse lay. I was not gon above a muskett shott, but some of the ennemy (knowing the pasages thereabout, which I did not; and rationally supposing I might quarter in that place; in regard of the convenient situation of itt, between my horse and my foot) came into the house and enquired, and made a search for me, and if I had staied there (as at first I intended) in all probability they might have suddainly dispatched me, and retired in the darkness of night, with safety enough.

Some dayes after, whilst I lay before the town, I rode with a small party about the quarters, particularly to see how the dragoones were laid, on the further side of the town; and being to returne back, itt pleased God to putt itt suddainly into my minde, to go by another way than that I came, which some of the party, and some of mine own servants (who staid a little behind) not observing, but taking the former way, they were almost all taken by the ennemy. I came back safely.

Att Farnham God appeared wonderfully for me, when the Lord Hopton, drew upp his whole army within culverin shott of me, being (with the forces of Sir Jacob Ashly, who was then joined to him)[Page 112] att the least eight thousand horse and foot; and (thorough the mistake or neglect of my adiutant-generall, and the slackness of my men, in drawing to the rendevous) I was not able to face him with two thousand men. In that extremity the Lord tooke opportunity to shew himself for me, and sent so thick a mist all the morning, that by reason of the darkness the ennemy durst not give on, and when the mist brake upp, I had such an advantage of the ground, that my weakness remained undiscovered, and he drew off from me, I was that day delivred from an imminent destruction.

Att Cheriton Field, I was in danger to have been taken or killed, the ennemy having by a charge given upon some troopes of mine, shutt me off from mine own men, I having then but three with me; but itt pleased God they were repulsed againe, and thereby a way opened for my retreat.

I may reckon itt a mercy, that upon a suddain occasion that day, charging without my headpeece, and being known by the ennemy (as I afterwards understood) I came off safe and unhurt.

When the King came suddainly upon me with his whole army att Andover, and I had then nothing[Page 113] but a body of horse and dragoones with me, I made a fair retreat to Basingstoke.

Att the second Newbery fight, when I fell on with my troopes by the way off Speenfield, and wee were mingled with the ennemy, I had a great deliverence, for one of the adverse party coming behinde me, and being ready to fire his pistoll in my reines; in that instant one of my life guard killed him, or otherwise in all probability he had killed me.

"O God the Lord, the strength of my salvation: thou hast covered my head in the day off battell."Ps. cxl. 7.

"The Angell of the Lord, encampeth round about them that feare him, and delivereth them."Ps. xxxiv. 7.

IN JOURNYINGS OFT.

In my travell between Venice and Florence, I escaped the danger of the Inquisition att Bolonia, where through the information of a priest (that came along in company with me from Venice) I was searched, my trunke, wherein I had nothing but clothes, was rifled to the bottome, but itt pleased God to so order itt, that they lett alone a box, wherein I had some papers, which might have exposed[Page 114] me to question; when they had itt in their hands ready to open itt.

In my journey into Yorkeshire, to my Sisters house at Hickleton, (being accompanied with my wife the Lady Ann, and my dear mother) I reckon itt a great deliverance, that when my coach mares, upon the descent of an hill, had broken their raines, and overthrown the coachman from the box, and begun to run away, the raines falling down upon the ground, one of the mares, treading upon them, they checked her bitt, and made her stopp, which made the rest stand like-wise.

IN PERILLS IN THE CITTY.

When the army first marcht up to the citty of London, and made that breach upon the Parliament, I was voted to command a body of horse and dragoones, in the nature of a flying army, for the defence of the King, Kingdome, Parliament, and Citty; and whilst I was acting (with others) according to my duty, at the Committee of Militia, to advance that levy; wee were all unexpectedly deserted and betraied by the citty and left out of all capitulation; so that upon the entring of the army, we were[Page 115] inforced to lye hidd, and within a few dayes after to make use of the passes which the House of Commons had given us, and to quit the kingdome. The Lord all that time preserved me from falling into the hands of the army, though I was pursued by land and sea.

When after the death of my late deare wife, I had sent out my sons to schoole, and removed my daughters, with some part of my goods, to the Lady Blanyes house in Long Acre (myself remaining in that desolate condition, a prisoner att St. James's) there was a base information given to the Councell of State, by a servant of mine (whome for a falsness I had putt away) that I had deposited plate and jewells, to a great vallue, in that good Ladyes custody; whereupon (without any cause alledged, or any thing att all in charge against me) they sent a warrant signed Bradshaw, by a sargeant att armes, to seize upon all thatt I had there, as belonging to an ennemy of the State. But itt pleased the wisdome of God to befoole their malice, that they made no search in mine own house, where all that I had of vallue was, but only in that place, where there was nothing but so inconsiderable a parcell of plate, that they were ashamed[Page 116] to keep itt, when they had itt; and so they sent itt back again. In the mean time I had leasure to dispose of what I had by me, to a place of safety.

March 22d, 1657. I was seized upon as a prisoner by a warrant from the Protector, and brought to Whitehall, where I was examined by him. He did examin me as a stranger, not as one whome he had aforetime known, and obeyed; yet was he not discourteous, and itt pleased the Lord to preserve me, that not one thing objected could be prooved against me; so I was delivered, and returned with comfort to my family againe; blessed be the Name of the Lord!

IN PERILS AMONG FALSE BRETHREN.

It pleased the House of Commons to command my service, in taking care for the drawing upp for the Ordinance in favour of the Apprentices; upon which account some Apprentices (who negotiated that business for the rest) made their application to me; shortly after, when that petition from the citty was to be presented, which was followed with so much confusion, that it gave occasion, or pretence to the speaker, and diverse others of the House to withdraw[Page 117] to the army; myself and the rest of the eleven members, having then gained the leave of the House, to absent ourselves, for six months (by that denial of our own right and priviledg, to preserve (if possible) the priviledg of Parliament from any further violation by the army) some two dayes before the presentation of the above said petition, there came two persons to my house in Drury Lane, to speak with me, who, when I came out unto them, tould me they were apprentices of the Citty, and came to be advised by me, how they should manage their petition; to whom I replyd, that I knew no advice to be given, but that they should be carefull to attend the House as early as they could, before they were praeingaged in other business: but this did not serve their purpose, who came only to ensnare me; whereupon they moved further, and said, that myself and the other impeached gentlemen were concerned in their petition, and that they must and would have us into the House againe. To which I returned no more, but that I should have no more to do in that business, and so I left them. This was all that passed, and yet those false impudent creatures made their report att the army, that I abetted that disorder and assault upon the House, and cooperated with the apprentices in itt, which served to exasperate the army so much the more against me. But it pleased[Page 118] the Lord that they never had power to act any thing upon itt to my prejudice.

After I was made a prisoner by the army, and removed from the King's Head in the Strand to St. James, I had a message sent me from one Colonell Fitz-James with the signification of his respect to me, and compassion of me, representing the extreme danger in which I was, and the enevitable destruction that attended me, if I did not endeavour to prevent itt by some escape; in order to that, he made me a tender of his assistance, ingaging himself, that he would sett me safe aboard a shipp, that lay ready in the river for me to transport me beyond the reach of all mine ennemies. But itt pleased God to prevent the effect of his treachery, both by giving me the confidence to stand upon mine own innocency, and by discovering to me, that that perfidious man (in the middest of all his protestations of friendshipp to me), had privately offered himself to give evidence against me att the barr of the House of Commons; so that it was a meere train, laid to bring a guiltiness upon me, and to take away my life.

The like offer was made to my wife in reference to the procurement of my escape out of Windsor Castle, by one Captain Kempe of Collonell Prides[Page 119] regiment, with the addition of an intended cheat; but I was delivered as a bird, out of the snare of these fowlers, so that I was not catcht with their chaff. —

About the same time, shortly after my coming to Windsor Castle, having opportunity to send to my deare wife (whom I had left in a disconsolat condition att London, great with child, and within a few weeks of her delivery) as I had sealed my letter and was ready to dispatch itt away, I had notice given me by my keeper, that the Governour must see whatever letters I wrote or received; whereupon I bad him carry itt unto him, that he might open it if he thought fitt: But the Governour returned itt back unto me untouched, with this compliment, that I was very much mistaken in him if I thought he would be so unworthy, as to open letters between a man and his wife; and with some further expressions of respect to me, in regard, he had formerly served as a Lieutenant Colonell under me. This I tooke as a civility from him, but I found it after to be no other than a meere insiduous practise; for after an uninterrupted pasage of letters between my wife and me, for about a fortnight or three weekes, by which time he supposed, wee might be grown to a confidence to write freely, he suddainly seised upon all my letters. [Page 120]But there was nothing to be found in them that could prejudice me, and so that snare likewise broke, and I escaped the danger of it. Blessed be God.

March 1654. I have reason to acknowledg itt a great mercy of God, that he preserved me in so insnaring a time, wherein the Lord heard my prayer.

"The wicked plotteth against the just; — The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming."Ps. xxxvii. 12, 13.

"The Lord will not leave him in his hand, nor condemn him when he is judged."Ps. xxxvii. 33.

2. In severall prosperous successes.

1. THE TAKING OF SOUTHSEA CASTLE.

2. THE TAKING OF PORTSMOUTH.

It was about this time that those misunderstandings grew between me and the Lord Generall Essex,[Page 121] which were afterwards noticed in some sort by the Parliament; and there were those who fomented our discorde for their own advancement. Some whom I att that time commanded, but who have since sat in a higher seat, were not wanting to misrepresent, and to inflame on either side; and the country did suffer for these things, which the Parliament well knew, but thought itt not convenient att all times to notice.

3. THE TAKING OF FARNHAM CASTLE.

4. THE TAKING OF CHICHESTER.

5. THE TAKING OF MALMESBURY.

6. THE TAKING OF HEIGHNAM, AND RELEIVING OF GLOUCESTER.

7. THE TAKING OF MONMOUTH.

8. THE TAKING OF HEREFORD.

9. THE FIGHT AT CHERITON neere Wells in Somersetshire, where Prince Maurice was wounded, and I putt a stopp to his pursuit of the forces under Coll. Popham: whilst in these parts itt was[Page 122] told that the Queen had something endeared herself when att Exeter, by the following Charity. Walking out northward of the citty, soon after her laying in, she stopped att the cottage of a poore woman whom she heard making doleful cries. She sent one of her train to know what itt might be which occasioned itt; the page returned and said the woman was sorrowing grievously, because her daughter had been two days in the strawe, and was almost dead for want of nourishment, she having nothing to give her but water, and not being able for the hardness of the times to gett any thing. On this the Queen tooke a small chain of gould from her neck att which hung an agnus; she tooke off the agnus and putt itt in her bosom, and making the woman be called to her, gave her the chain and bad her to go into the citty to a gouldsmith and sell itt, and keepe the money to provide for the good woman in the strawe. And for this her confessor did afterward rebuke her, because they were hereticks: when this thing was told to the King, he asked, jestingly, if her Confessor had made the Queen do a penance for itt; as she haddon once before, for some innocent act, when she was made to walke to Tyburn, some say barefoot.

10. THE BEATING UP OF COLL. HAMILTON's QUARTERS.

11. THE FIGHT AT LANDSDOWN.

12. THE BEATING OF THE MARQUESS OF HARTFORDS ARMY INTO THE DEVIZES.

13. THE ROUTING OF THE EARL OF CRAWFORDS PARTY, and taking the ammuniton, which he was conveying into the Devizes.

14. THE BEATING UPP OF THE EARLE OF CRAWFORDS QUARTER ATT ALTON; where five hundred of the taken, to make my success the greater, tooke the covenant, and served under me; great was my exultation, but itt had bitter endings, for the Parliament wrote to Essex to join me, intending that we together should do a mighty worke, but the Generall would not, to their no small displeasure; for which no good reason could be given, but that he would have his great name stand alone. My dismal defeat att Roundway Down was owing to those heart burnings and jealoucies; for the General suffered the enemies horse to pass quietly, and without molestation, to the succour of their infantry which lay att the Devizes in miserable plight. The proud have laid snares for me, saith the Psalmist, and sett traps in my way. So sure was I of victory that I wrote to Parliament to bid them be att rest, for that I would shortly send them an account of[Page 124] the numbers taken and the numbers slaine, but it pleas'd the Lord to turn my victory into mourning, and my glory into shame: with a small number of cavalry I retired to Bristol, and there heard continually of the successes of the royal party; who took heart on this mischance of mine, that had never happened had others don their duty.

15. THE TAKING OF ARUNDELL.

16. THE BATTELL ATT CHERITON.

17. THE TAKING OF CHRISTCHURCH.

18. THE TAKING OF THE PASS ATT NEWBRIDG.

19. THE TAKING OF SUDELY CASTLE.

20. THE FIGHT ATT SPEENFIELD BY NEW-BERRY.

21. THE BEATING UPP OF COLL. LONG's QUARTERS, in which Cromwell's horse did good service. And here I cannot but mention the wonder which I have oft times had, to see this eagle in his eirey: he att this time had never shown extraordinary partes, nor do I think that he did himself[Page 125] believe that he had them; for although he was blunt, he did not bear himself with pride, or disdaine. As an oficer he was obedient, and did never dispute my orders, nor argue upon them. He did, indeed, seeme to have great cunning, and whilst he was cautious of his own words, not putting forth too many lest they should betray his thoughts, he made others talk, untill he had as it were sifted them, and known their inmost designs. A notable instance was his discovering in one short conversation with one Captain Giles (a great favorite with the Lord Generall, and whome he most confided in), that although his words were full of zeal, and his actions seemingly brave, that his heart was not with the cause: and in fine, this man did shortly after join the enemy at Oxford, with three and twenty stout fellowes. One other instance I will here sett down, being of the same sort, as to his cunning.

When I tooke the Lord Piercy att Andover, having att that time an inconvenient distemper, I desired Collonell Cromwell to entertaine him with some civility; who did afterwards tell me, that amongst those whom we tooke with him (being about thirty), their was a youth of so faire a countenance, that he doubted of his condition; and to confirm himself willed him to sing; which he did with such a daintiness that Cromwell scrupled not[Page 126] to say to Lord Piercy; that being a warriour, he did wisely to be accompanied by Amazons; on which that Lord, in some confusion, did acknowledg that she was a damsel; this afterwards gave cause for scoffe att the King's party, as that they were loose and wanton, and minded their pleasure, more than either their Country's service, or their Maister's good.

22. THE INFALL AT THE DEVIZES, and the taking of Major Rowles, and his horse, the remainder of Colonell Long's regiment.

"Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but unto thy name give glory: for thy mercy, and for thy truth's sake."Ps. cxv. 1.

"Thine, O Lord! is the victory."1 Chron. xxix. 11.

IN RETURNES FOR PRAIER.

When it pleased God (after seven years expectation), that my first wife fell into travell, I could not but be very apprehensive of the weakness of her condition; and having retired myself to praier, and earnestly besought God to strengthen her, and being desirous to comfort myself out of Gods word, I tooke the bible to read, and letting itt fall, with[Page 127] some passion, upon the table (without any particular designe upon one place more than another) itt opened upon the 128 Psalme, in the singing Psalmes, "Like fruitfull vines on thy house side, so doth thy wife spring out,"with which being surprised, I presumed to make a triall, whether itt were more than an accident or no (the good Lord forgive me for that presumption), and taking upp another bible that lay by, itt opened likewise upon the same place: within a few howers after, my wife was safely delivered.

Not long after this, being at London, I was suddainly taken with a fitt of the stone, in that violence, that itt grew insupportable to me, whereupon I cast myself upon my knees, and besought God for his mercy to me, and before I rose upp, my paine was mitigated, and within one quarter of an hower I was perfectly well.

After the death of my first wife, and of my son which I had by her (both very deare blessings to me) when I putt on a resolution to marry againe, I humbly besought God to provide such a wife for me, as might be an help to me in the way of his service, and that I might have a religious woman, or none, and when his providence directed me to Lady Ann Finch, and that all things were agreed upon between my Lord her father and me, in reference[Page 128] to the marriage, upon her motion, she and I agreed together, to sett a day apart to seeke God for his blessing in itt. Itt pleased the Lord to answer our praiers in as full a measure of comfort, as ever was powred out opon a married couple: and though att the first there were some litle differences in our natures, and judgments (as to some particulars) yet within a litle while, that good God wrought us to that uniformity, that I may say wee were but as one soul, in two bodyes.

After I had quitted the service of the Parliament in the field, and was returned to London, and there settled with my family; my estate began to fall short, part thereof lying in the Kings Quarters; and the rest (through the distraction of the times) affording me very litle subsistence. To supply my necessityes, I was faine to sell severall things; and in the end I was at such a pinch, as that without selling my plate (which I had kept as my last reserve of vallue) I knew not how to send to markett: whereupon my wife and I having recommended our condition to God, resolved the next morning to send our plate to the gouldsmiths, and to make money of itt. But the next morning I was wakened by my servant, who lett me know there was one come from Barnstaple with some mony for me. The sum was not above fifteen[Page 129] pounds, but that served my present occasions, and before that was spent. I received a further releife, so as I was put to no more such exigencyes. Blessed be God.

When his Majesty was at Worcester, I thought itt my duty to seeke God for him in that distressed condition; itt pleased the Lord to inlarge my heart, with much comfort, and to give me a confident assurance, that I should have an answer of peace. The issue was, that his royall person was miraculously delivered out of the hands of those hunters.

After my returne from D —, when I tooke upp a resolution to marry againe; I besought God for his direction in my choice, who heard my petition, and sent me the Lady Harcourt to repaire the breach formerly made in my poore family; which was so rich a blessing, that I can never sufficiently acknowledg itt. That God (hearing praier) who hath (with the generall approbation of good men) united us by his sacred ordinance, and made us not only one flesh, but one spirit; one in our affections, judgments, wayes, ends, (as if wee had been both cutt out of one peece) he vouchsafes to preserve us together for the advancement of his service and glory.

"Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shaddow of thy wings will I rejoyce; my soul followeth hard after thee."Ps. lxiii. 7.

"Because he has inclined his care unto me; therefore will I call upon him as long as I live."Ps. cxvi. 2.

IN FATHERLIKE CHASTICEMENTS.

1. My endeavour to supplant Mr. Yard in his possession of the markett of Newton Abbot, though upon a dormant title, yet proceeding from a covetous end, was justly punished, both in the loss of the thing I sued for, and in all that trouble befell me in Kings Bench.

2. When out of a covetuous desire to gaine a good bargaine upon Mr. Price his lease by Winchester, I laid down five hundred pounds, as a claw upon itt, by way of morgage, God justly punished me both in the loss of the lease, and of my mony too.

3. It was just with God, for the punishment of my giving way to the plunder of the Citty of Winchester, to permitt the demolition of my house att Winchester.

4. My vanity in furniture, justly punished in the loss of a great part of itt, by the treachery of Ellis.

5. My presumption upon mine own strength, and former successes, justly humbled at the Devises^** This was the most heavy stroke of any that did ever befall me; General Essex had thought to persuade the Parliament to compromise with the King; which so inflamed the zealous that they moved that the command of their army might be bestow'd upon me; but the news of this defeat arrived whilst they were deliberating on my advancement, and itt was to me a double defeat. I had nearly sunke under the affliction, but that I had a deare and sweet Comforter; and I did att that time prove according to Ecclesiasticus, chap. xxvi. "A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband — As the Sun when itt ariseth in the high Heaven, so is the beauty of a good wife."verse 16., by an utter defeat, and att Croperdy with a dishonorable blow.

6. Itt was just with God to lay me by all employment, as a broken vessel, in regard of the corruption of my heart, in my first ingagement, and neglect of reformation in the officers, and souldiery under me.

7. My not attending unto, nor improoving by sermons, when itt pleased the Lord to come under my roofe, and to visit me by his ministers att St James's, was justly punished att Denbigh, by a restraint from all ordinances.

8. After the end of the warr, that I began to enjoy my estate, and the comforts of my family againe, and upon passing of the vote in the House of Commons of 2500l. to be settled upon me as a compensation for my service, I was puffed upp with a presumption that I should never be moved, whereupon God most justly within a few months after sent those severall chastisements upon me, banishment, imprisonment, sickness, the death of my wife, poverty.

9. The not paying my vow, upon the marriage with my wife, justly punished by Gods taking her from me.

"It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes."Ps. cxix. 71.

"Rejoice not against me, O mine ennemy! when I fall I shall arise, when I sitt in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. I will beare the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him, untill he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteosness."Micah. vii. 9.

In acknowledgment of Gods infinit mercy and goodness, declared in his many deliverances of me,[Page 133] and in his comforts and blessings to me; particularly, in my inlargement from my long captivity, my returne with comfort to my children and family, and that inestimable blessing he hath been pleased to bestow upon me in a most deare good wife; I vow, by his grace assisting and enabling me, to restraine them in a thankfull memory, and to transmitt the recordation of them to my children, that they may never be forgotten, neither by me nor my posterity.

I humbly renew my vowes both againste the practice, or purpose, of every gross sin, or the allowance of any, though never so small; and resolve (so farr as I am able) to shun the occasions of them; and in particular I protest (by the help of the divine grace) against giving any entertainment or lodging in my heart to A. P. S. C. H. W. L.

As a poore thank offring for so many undeserved mercyes, I humble renue the consecration of the tenth of whatsoever I receive in my estate, to pious uses; and (besides the 100th formerly devoted to those ends, in acknowledgment of my deliverance out of prison) I vow one hundred pounds more, as an oblation to God for the blessing and happiness I enjoy in my present married condition, to be employed in such wayes, as I shall be directed by my godly friends. And if I be repaid the debt owing me[Page 134] from my L. K. I engage myself to dispose forty pounds of itt (with the addition of tenn pounds more unto itt) to the town of Newton Abbot in Devon, for the making upp of their stock, for the setting of the poor at worke, in the workhouse there erected by me. I humbly devote my life to God, who hath so often preserved itt, and so many wayes blessed itt, resolving by his grace to do all I can, for the setting of him upp in my heart; to love, feare, and trust him more; to pray, read, and heare more, and more zealously than I have don hitherto; to walke in my particular calling more uprightly, constantly, chearfully, fruitfully; and to endeavour to become better in all relations, both to the publick, in church and state, whensoever I shall be in a capacity to serve them; and in private, as a father, husband, maister, &c. —

As a father, indeavouring to bring upp my children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, teaching them his feare, both by precept and example, with a spirit of meekness that they may not be discouraged.

As an husband, dwelling with my dear yokefellow according to knowledg, loving her as mine own body, as mine ownself, as Christ loved his Church, so taking care with her for the things of this world,[Page 135] that as wee study to please one another, we may likewise remember the homage wee both owe to God, and labour above all things to please him.

As a maister, so carrying my self towards my servants, forbearing threatning, giving them what is just and equall, as knowing that I also have a maister in Heaven, and making provision for my family, according to my duty.

I will pay thee my vowes, which my lipps have uttered, "and my mouth hath spoken, when I was in trouble."Ps. lxxvi. 13, 14.

"I will pay that that I have vowed; Salvation is of the Lord."Jonah. ii. 9.

A DAILY DIRECTION.

EVERY day is a litle life; in the account whereof, wee may reckon our birth from the wombe of the morning; our growing time from thence to noone (when we are as the Sun in his strength): after which like a^** Ps. cii. 11. shaddow that declineth, wee hasten to the evening of our age, till att last wee close our eyes in sleep, the image of death: and our whole life is but this tale of a day tould over and over. I should therefore so spend every day, as if itt were all the life I had to live; and in pursuance of this end, and of the vow I have made to walke with God in a closer communion, than I have formerly don, I would indeavour by his grace, to observe in the course of my remaining spann, or rather inche of life this daily directory: —

^†† Ps. cxxxix. 18. Ps. lxiii. 1.To awake with God, as early as I can, and to consecrate the first fruits of my thoughts unto him[Page 137] by praier and meditaion, and by renued acts of faith and repentance, that so God may awake for me, and make the habitation of my righteosness prosperous^** Job, vili. 5, 6.. To this end I would make itt my care to lye down the night before in the peace of God, who hath promised, that his commandement shall keep me when I sleep, and talke with me when I awake; otherwise itt may be justly feared that those corruptions that bid me last good night, will be ready to give me first good morrow.

[After this follows sixteen pages of text from scripture, and scriptural allusions, under the head of DAILY DANGERS, of which the publisher thought the preceding pages had sufficient, and on his judgment the rest are suppressed. But the writer's concluding reflections on his own situation, and on that of the Protector's, shall be preserved. He speaks of some enmities he had encountered, and continues]

When that poore man who relied on his maister's word, understood that the King had consented to his death, he piteously cried out, putt not your trust in princes; and nearly as good cause have I to say, putt not your trust in Parliaments: I have served[Page 138] Parliament with my blood, and with my estate, and gained nothing the while but mistrusts, prisons, and neglect: att one time so full of my services, they were going to make me General of all their forces, but a panic of my horse which deserted me, turned the tide of their good will, and Essex was taken againe into favour; and then againe as a preliminary of peace, they would have me made a Baron and two thousand five hundred pounds a yeare settled therewith, but on a suddain tooke me into custody, and committed me to the Tower.

Now after all these traverses and manifold injuries both in person and estate, itt hath pleased the Almighty that I am sat down, on the remnants of my fortune, which are yet sufficient for my comfort, sounde in body and minde; and I can see there be those who stand as Job did, even amongst Princes, that may, and that not far off, be glad to be no worse. The humoure of the times doth already begin to change, and the declaration putt forth by Major J. Wildman for which he was confined in Chepstow Castle, speaks the temper of most men. O. C. was derided lately in going to Hampton Court, by one who cried out no Protector, no Roundhead, which he thought fitt to pass unnoted: and not long before, a woman said, as he was going into his coach att Whitehall, that bonny heads were cutt[Page 139] off, whilst ugly ones did keepe upon their shoulders. These things are but small, but as the distant speck att sea, betokeneth a storme, so do these speak a brewing some where, that may burst out, and overwhelme the helmsman.

"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."Prov. xvi. 18.

"Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud."Prov. xvi. 19.