REPORT
Of
an
adjudged
Case
not
to
be
found
in
any
of
the
Books
.
1.
BETWEEN
Nose
and
Eyes
a
strange
contest
arose
,
The
spectacles
set
them
unhappily
wrong
;
The
point
in
dispute
was
,
as
all
the
world
knows
,
To
which
the
said
spectacles
ought
to
belong
.
2.
So
the
Tongue
was
the
lawyer
and
argued
the
cause
With
a
great
deal
of
skill
,
and
a
wig
full
of
learning
,
While
chief
baron
Ear
sat
to
balance
the
laws
,
So
fam'd
for
his
talent
in
nicely
discerning
.
3.
In
behalf
of
the
Nose
,
it
will
quickly
appear
,
And
your
lordship
he
said
,
will
undoubtedly
find
,
That
the
Nose
has
had
spectacles
always
in
wear
,
Which
amounts
to
possession
time
out
of
mind
.
4.
Then
holding
the
spectacles
up
to
the
court
—
Your
lordship
observes
they
are
made
with
a
straddle
,
As
wide
as
the
ridge
of
the
Nose
is
,
in
short
,
Design'd
to
sit
close
to
it
,
just
like
a
saddle
.
5.
Again
would
your
lordship
a
moment
suppose
(
'Tis
a
case
that
has
happen'd
and
may
be
again
)
That
the
visage
or
countenance
had
not
a
Nose
,
Pray
who
wou'd
or
who
cou'd
wear
spectacles
then
?
6.
On
the
whole
it
appears
,
and
my
argument
shows
With
a
reasoning
the
court
will
never
condemn
,
That
the
spectacles
plainly
were
made
for
the
Nose
,
And
the
Nose
was
as
plainly
intended
for
them
.
7.
Then
shifting
his
side
as
a
lawyer
knows
how
,
He
pleaded
again
in
behalf
of
the
Eyes
,
But
what
were
his
arguments
few
people
know
,
For
the
court
did
not
think
they
were
equally
wise
.
8.
So
his
lordship
decreed
with
a
grave
solemn
tone
,
Decisive
and
clear
without
one
if
or
but
—
That
whenever
the
Nose
put
his
spectacles
on
By
day-light
or
candle-light
—
Eyes
should
be
shut
.